How to get to know a person

A conversation with one of my friends yesterday brought up an interesting question.  Initially the question didn't seem that interesting to me because I thought that the answer to the question was obviously one choice. Imagine my surprise when my friend completely disagreed with me. I'll give you all the question so you can think about what you would answer.

Would you get to know a person better by:
1. Having lunch with that person once a week for an entire year. (52 lunches basically)
2. Spending 15 minutes in their house unaccompanied and unannounced.

In my mind the answer was obviously you would learn more about the person by talking with them for more or less 52 hours than by spending 15 minutes in their house. Here is my reasoning:
1. While objects can provide a glimpse into a person's life. It's the story of that person's life that is interesting.
It's for this reason that I sometimes feel sorry fore those poor souls who ask to see my pictures. They probably think that they are going to get a rapid fire photo album show. Nope... they have to sit through my life stories too.
2. Objects/possessions show past glory; conversation can reflect past glory but also show future aspirations.
 Our past and present contribute to our future but do not define it. One can look at my house and know that I was a swimmer; one does not know by looking that I plan to be a triathlete. One can only come to know my future desires and dreams through conversation.

Devil's Advocate: When I was talking both with my friend and others there were several counterpoints brought up to the above position.
1. False face
It's much easier to put on a false show when the other person's information is entirely dependent on what you tell them.  All sorts of inconvenient truths can be hidden; all sorts of tiny to huge exaggerations can make you look better than you are.
2. What we own, what we display shows what is consciously and subconsciously important to us.
For instance. One does not have to be a genius to know what my favorite animal is. A simple look around my living room indicates that. It goes much deeper than that though.  What kind of books does the person have? What magazines? What do they cook? Possessions can give all kinds of insights into how a person lives their daily life.

I admit that I was somewhat skeptical that possessions could really provide that much insight into a personality.  I challenged my friend to indicate what my house/possessions indicated from me.  Considering this young ladies intelligence I probably shouldn't have done this; it was fascinating though.  She proceeded to give a fairly accurate and fascinating summary of myself as shown by my house, what's in it, and how it's arranged.  I was impressed by how well she related things to me.  At that point I was forced to go from full on skepticism to curiosity.

Which leads us to my random question of the day. To pique my curiosity in a wide range of subjects lately I've been asking people at work and friends through e-mail/text their opinions on things. I thought this would be an interesting question to ask. Once again the results surprised me.

In my purely unscientific survey I found that far more people agree with my friends position than my own.  In a rough ration of 3:1  people thought that ransacking a house for 15 minutes would provide more insight into a person than a year's worth of lunch conversations. Yea...I was not expecting that.

Snowmaker for hire!

I have recently started visiting a young lady in Park City. After our first couple of dates we noticed that something interesting.  Novels and movies always talk about "sparks" that occur when two people get together.  It does not appear that this young lady and myself have "sparks" per say.

Instead we have the opposite effect.  Every date in the past month or so has been accompanied by extreme climatic change.  We don't make sparks; we cause severe winter weather. I'm not talking about little tiny storms either; I'm talking about snow fall measured in feet instead of inches.

So. I have decided to accept sponsorships from all of the local ski resorts.  Our dating is obviously improving their business.  Clearly we should receive remuneration for the snow we cause to fall along the Wasatch Front.

I like October

Pumpkin carving date

I've decided on my favorite month. I think it might just be October. There are so many great things about October. First and foremost it was when a very important person in the world was born; me!  That's already giving the month a great one-up on the other months. There's so much more that I like about October however.

The weather. I like variable weather. During the summer I become tired of being hot all the time; during the winter I'm tired of being cold all the time. October is great because you get a little bit of everything. In fact; it's conceivable that you can have a 70 degree warm day one day; immediately followed by a foot of snow on the ground the next day. For a person who likes variety but not extremes it's about as perfect as you can get.

Me and my pumpkin

Then of course. There is the holiday. Now; I know that a lot of people don't really like Halloween because it's based off of a pagan holiday or that it's based off of candy.  I think the holiday has grown on me; especially as a single person. Think about it. What other holiday provides as many opportunities for easy dating as Halloween?  You can: pumpkin carve, go to a haunted house, haunted forests, corn mazes, hay mazes, Frightmares at Lagoon, watch scary movies, go to various masquerades and or dances (Howl in Logan), or decorate your apartments.  All easy, all relatively cheap, and all fun.  What other holiday gives you all that? Then;  just as a bonus. You get all kinds of candy.  Who doesn't like candy?

Wing Decorations

 Finally there are the costumes. One thing that I think is fun about Halloween is the opportunity to pretend to be something that you're not. Ever dream about being an astronaut? Well, you can pretend to be one for a couple of days and all of your coworkers won't look at you like you're insane.  This year unfortunately both of my costumes didn't work out.  My first idea was to be a shamanistic medicine man. I tried to make a costume that looked cool; failed miserable.  Because I procrastinated I didn't have a lot of time to make another costume. So I thought I would cheat and become a nursing student. I used my old Weber State nursing uniform, was planning on wearing my glasses, had all of the knickknacks that they make nursing students carry around but that no one ever actually uses, and even laminated a purple nursing student name tag. It wasn't great...but it could have been fun.  However; I forgot to set me alarm clock on the day we were supposed to wear costumes at work. Hence I woke up; panicked because I was late, hurried and got dressed, and didn't remember until I was at work that I was supposed to be wearing my "costume" and not my normal scrubs. Whoops.

More wing decorations